dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
