I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
