dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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