i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
