the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
