I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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