i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
