The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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