worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize