You're completely useless in the revolution.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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