That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
