its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
