just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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