i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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