i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
