Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
