You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
