i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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