Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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