I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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