I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
