Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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