dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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