i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
North Korea, Best Korea!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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