I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
