Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
the room spins SO much faster in panama
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
