What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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