STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
