i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
