I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
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