How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
