Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
