Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
cat food counts as protein by the way
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
