What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
