Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
