you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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