i woke up with socks on this morning
i didnt wear socks last night
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
She's better-looking with the mask on.