Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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