Cold hands, warm shart.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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