I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
