How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
