Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
