my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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