We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
