Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
