I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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