Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
