I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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