I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
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Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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