Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
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Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
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It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
whose parrot is this?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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