there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
