9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
