please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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