Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
