So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
