Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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