whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
