Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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