haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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