Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize