she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
