I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
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I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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