My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
